What To Wear On A First Date: Top 10 Style Tips

Going on a date is always nerve-wracking, not to mention the very first one. Here’s what to wear on a first date in order to leave a lasting impression.

Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out from the get-go. These things take time.

Apart from having to get your nerves under control and formulate a whole conversation in your head before even meeting, you also need to know the best fashion choices and tips in order to be as comfortable as possible and still look pretty darn beautiful.

It’s tough being a woman! There are so many factors that play into a first date that it’s near to impossible to get it right all of the time, wouldn’t you agree?

In fact, when choosing what to wear on a first date, you need to take into consideration the venue, the impression you want to leave, whether or not you think you might see him again, how excited you are about this particular first date, how to show a little bit of skin without going all out. It’s tough.

However, in order to help you out a little bit, we thought we’d add a checklist of first date tips in order to turn the first date into many more to come.
Below, find some obvious and plenty of helpful tips in order to get you through your first date experience; possibly turning it into the first of many.

Check the venue

It’s extremely important to scout the venue before showing up. Not only can this save you major embarrassment if you show up to a beach-themed restaurant in an evening dress, but you’ll prevent yourself from having to choose between numerous ‘what to wear on a first date’ styles; potentially wasting precious time and saving you plenty of frustration and money.
So before planning any part of your first date outfit, always have a look at the theme of the venue; restaurant or not.

Choose comfort, always

Despite how amazing you want to look, how you feel is much more important. Of course, you want to experience both, but that’s not always ideal.
The last thing you want is to be fidgeting with your clothing in areas that will make it seem obvious that you’re uncomfortable. Any man, when he’s interested in you, will notice your discomfort and you’ll feel even more self-conscious.
The best thing you can do when choosing what to wear on a first date is to choose an outfit that will allow you to do the one thing you’re definitely supposed to; have fun.

Leave most for the imagination

Depending on the type of man you decide to go on a first date with, he’s going to want you to be a little bit conservative. This doesn’t mean you can’t show off a little bit of leg or maybe a tiny bit of cleavage; as long it’s one or the other.
Don’t feel regret if you go out on a date with someone you end up really liking only to find out that he judges you based on what you wore. Sure, being judged is never nice but the fact of the matter is, that’s all someone has to go on if it’s the first date.
You have to ensure that you leave a positive lasting impression without coming across as cheap.

Thoroughly plan your outfit

There’s probably nothing worse than thinking you know what you want to wear for a first date only to realize last minute that what you wanted to wear really isn’t going to work.
It’s only about an hour before you have to leave for the date and you have nothing to wear. What to do? Well, it’s as easy as planning out your outfit thoroughly in order to avoid any surprises.
That way you have one less thing to stress about when it comes to the whole dating scene. It can be stressful so don’t add any more than you should.

Always take a light jacket

Always pack a light jacket or something to throw over your shoulder in case the weather decides to turn. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll offer his jacket, but you just never know.
Remember, always show up prepared in order to avoid feeling uncomfortable and cold as the night progresses. The weather can turn easily and you’d rather show up to the date with a little bit of extra coverage than not enough.
Wear comfortable shoes

Unless you can walk in them comfortably, don’t even attempt wearing uncomfortable shoes on your first date. The key to a successful date is being comfortable and leaving a confident impression.
Uncomfortable shoes will only cause you to walk funny and result in painful blisters that could’ve been avoided by wearing shoes you most definitely feel comfortable to walk in.
They say beauty is painful but you can look just as beautiful without the pain.

Choose an outfit you’d normally wear

Just because you’re going on a hot first date doesn’t mean you have to wear an outfit you wouldn’t normally be seen with.
You still want to feel like yourself, and you certainly want to show him the truest version of yourself. Stick to your own sense of style and flaunt what you were given. He’ll love it!

Can’t decide? Choose red

What happens if you’re stuck with numerous outfits, all different colors, and you simply can’t decide on one. If you happen to have a red choice amongst the lot, go with that.
Psychologically, red creates a moth to a flame type of effect. Men find red on women most attractive and seductive. So if the goal of the evening is to lure him in, always choose your red outfit.
Please note, in order to lure him in with red, your outfit also needs to have a fitting cut. No use wearing a sack.

Look touchable

If you’re into your date and he’s into you, you most certainly want to be touched, right? So as much as you want to keep skin exposure limited and come across as a little bit conservative, you also want the best of both worlds where you look touchable.
Don’t be afraid to play around with outfits and accentuate your best features. If it’s your eyes, wear eye make-up. If you have curvy hips, don’t be afraid to wear a pencil skirt. Wear what fits you best.

Don’t purchase new shoes

Whatever you do, don’t wear new shoes when choosing what to wear on a first date. Sure, we all want to look brand new and shiny, which includes purchasing a brand new outfit.

However, you’ll end up with blisters before the night has even begun which will cause you to walk funny and feel extreme discomfort. As one of those things you want to avoid, rather choose one of your regular pairs of shoes. Choose pretty but don’t necessarily go with a brand new. You’ll thank us.
We understand how crazy and stressful the first date can be, for both parties. It’s really more of an understatement. So don’t let not knowing what to wear on a first date add to the pressures of life and the overall dating scene.

Let your hair down a little bit, go with the flow, add a whole lot of confidence, and know that you’re in good hands if you follow the above-mentioned first date fashion tips.
Remember, when it comes to deciding on what to wear on a first date, always leave enough room for preparations in order to give yourself enough time to change your mind if you wish to do so.

You simply can’t end up not having enough time to get ready; especially if you think this date can turn into something serious.
First impressions really do count, so make wise choices when choosing what to wear on a first date and you may end up going on continuous dates for a long time still to come.

 

source:youqueen

5 Ways To Save Money For Your Dream Vacation

People tend to push aside the vacation they want because of money—or lack thereof. By using these tips, you can save money and have the vacation you have always dreamed of.

Everyone has a bucket list—or at least a list of places that they want to travel to. Whether you want to visit the Amazon Rainforest, see the Northern Lights, go on a safari in Africa, climb and explore Mayan ruins, explore the pyramids of Egypt or hike the gorgeous mountains of British Columbia, you will have to save money. This often prevents people from doing what they truly want to do.

Let’s face it: traveling is expensive, which easily deters people from even considering crossing these places off their bucket lists. However, traveling to whatever destination your heart desires can easily be done. All you need to do is use the right methods to save for your travels.

Don’t sit back and let life pass you by while you wait, and definitely do not let your dreams and exciting things you want to do in life slip past you. Don’t struggle to fit travel in; incorporate it into your life and money plans with these easy and effective tips and tricks on how to save money.

1. Change stash

Piggy bank on travel tourist map

Having a system where all your change or even extra bills go is a way to ensure that you are putting money away every time you spend as long as you use cash. This method works wonders because no one likes carrying around change.

By doing this, you are also less likely to buy something small because, psychologically, you won’t want to break any bills or use your credit card for said item. The bonus to this is that you won’t even realize the amount of money that is adding up as long as you don’t touch it and you just put excess change and the occasional bills in. You will have a lot of money saved up by the time you are ready to count it.

2. Hunt for deals

Hunting for deals is a smart way to save some cash: why pay more when you can pay less for the same thing? When buying everyday items, it is a good idea to wait for items to go on sale, look at other stores that offer the same thing or use coupons.

The money you save on the necessities you are buying will add up faster than you think. Just remember to avoid buying items you don’t need. Similarly, when booking your trip, use sites such as Trivago or Kayak as they will also help you find great deals for your airfare and hotels with offers from countless other sites.

3. Luxuries vs. necessities

Portrait of a young teenager tourist visiting the city and carrying paper shopping bags while leaning on a fashion store window

In order to save up for what you really want, you need to realize that there’s a difference between necessities and wants. For example, instead of buying new shoes, purses or clothes, save that money. Similarly, you can always pack a lunch with snacks, which will not only help you to stay healthy, but will also help you keep your piggy bank full. The same applies to coffee: if you can make it at home, then go with that because it will save you money and remove the temptation to buy it on your way to work.

4. Credit cards

These can be evil: you go to the mall, say you’re going to buy one thing, but then buy a whole bunch of items and don’t pay too much attention to how much you’ve spent. You then feel like you can keep spending thanks to this small piece of plastic, which really only wants your money in reality. Once again, this is where cash comes in handy: by using cash, you will realize how much you are spending, and will not feel the urge and temptation to spend as much.

The only benefit to credit cards is that you get benefits such as cash back or those that allow for cheaper flights thanks to air miles. Some stores also offer credit cards, so if you are going to buy something from a particular store regularly, use the card for that store as it will give you points that you can use for future necessities, meaning you won’t spend actual money on that item. Just remember not to spend money on items that you don’t actually need; acquiring points will take a long time, but it will also help with future buys and future plans.

5. Money challenges

Cheerful woman in the street drinking morning coffee in sunshine light

If you insist on having Starbucks every day and not giving up that luxury, then challenge yourself every month to go without buying an overly expensive coffee for a week. Who knows: you may actually like how much money you save and might continue the challenge.

This challenge can be done with a variety of things, and is an effective method when it comes to saving money, making you realize how much you spend on certain things, and how you can continue to save even more money.

These tips and tricks on how to save money are easy and effective because all the money you’re saving technically still comes from your job and income, but it isn’t involving you saving money from where there is no money.

The money you would be saving comes from other places you already spend money, meaning it isn’t money you technically don’t have. All you have to do is save, and not touch the money you’ve saved up for travel.

Live your dreams, be happy and take the vacation you have always wanted. Do not let traveling pass by you. Use these tips and tricks to save for what you really want. If you have any more tips and tricks on how to save money for your dream travel destinations, feel free to share!

 

credits:youqueen

Betting woman

 

The friendship separation with Ashley was feeling more and more official every day that went by that we didn’t speak, and I decided it was time to reconnect with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I started with Kevin.

Kevin was recently single, and he told me he was going to treat himself to a new suit as a consolation prize. He had an appointment at this custom men’s clothing store that had been featured on an episode of Suits. “Come,” he said. “A woman’s opinion helps when you’re trying to pretend you’re straight for your career.”

Michael Andrews Bespoke is on Great Jones street and looks like a set designer’s conception of a cool store in New York—something you’d see in a movie that doesn’t actually exist in real life. Sort of like the enormous doorman apartments on Fifth Avenue that all the female leads in every New York based rom-com live in (throwing shade at you in particular, Andi Anderson). Michael Andrews Bespoke is designed to resemble the Mad Men era, with kitschy wallpaper and 50s style furniture, a beautiful oak bar, and an even more beautiful model who greets you at the door and takes the wind right out of your sails even though you really liked your outfit that day.

Kevin had an appointment with someone named Morrison. I scanned the stylists while we sipped the drinks that the Glamazon had brought us, and immediately zeroed in on an Ed Westwick look alike in an impeccable suit, brown hair to his shoulders, working an intense lockjaw when he spoke. “Please God, let that be Morrison,” Kevin whispered to me, and I nodded intently.

The Gods must have been listening, because Ed Westwick’s doppelganger made his way over to us and introduced himself as Morrison. Both Kevin and I fixed him with our most charming smiles.

Over the next hour, Morrison brought out fabric book after fabric book, going over every damn stitch and shade of blue imaginable. And I thought finding the perfect pair of skinny jeans was hard—so much goes into making a custom suit! At one point I couldn’t help myself and I yawned.

“I think we’re boring your girlfriend.” Morrison winked at Kevin.

“I’m not his girlfriend,” I said at the same time Kevin said, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Morrison said. Then he smiled a smile that would be just cause for mothers to lock away their teenage daughters. “Good to know.”

As soon as Morrison went into the back to get another fabric book, Kevin and I turned to each other and grinned. “So hot,” Kevin said.

“So hot,” I agreed.

“Should I ask him for his number?” Kevin asked.

“Wait,” I said. “What? No. He’s straight.”

Kevin laughed. “He’s blatantly hitting on me.”

“Squeeze me,” I said. “He’s blatantly hitting on me.”

“Let’s make this interesting,” Kevin said. “One hundred bucks he’s gay.” He stuck out his hand.

“One hundred bucks he’s straight,” I said, and shook Kevin’s hand.

Morrison returned from the back room and he and Kevin finished up the appointment. As we were putting on our coats, Kevin said, “I hope you have fun plans for later. It’d be a shame to waste that suit.” Damn him! That sneaky bastard had gotten the jump on me.

Morrison ran his fingers through his beautiful hair. “Ah, I’m here until seven. Then I’ve got this thing.” He nodded at his co-worker. “Going away party for this guy.”

“Oh?” I chimed in. “Where’s he going?”

“Hong Kong,” Morrison said. “To see up our new operation.”

“Very cool,” Kevin gushed, and I had to dig my nails into my palms to keep from rolling my eyes. Am I that lame and obvious when I flirt too? Ugh, probably.

Morrison disappeared into the back with his co-worker for a bit. When he came out, he leaned on his elbow and tucked his hair behind his ear. “Hey, you guys wanna come tonight? Should be a good time.”

I looked at Kevin. “We’d love to.”

Morrison gave us all the party details. “Oh, that’s right in my neighborhood,” I said.

“Really?” Morrison said. “Where? I’ll swing by and grab you on my way uptown.”

I could feel Kevin prickle beside me. He was wishing he didn’t live in the Financial District so hard at the moment.

I put my number in Morrison’s phone. “Why don’t you give me yours too?” Morrison said to Kevin, flashing that smile again. “Just in case.” Kevin rattled off his number faster than you could say underdog.

“It doesn’t mean anything that he’s picking you up,” Kevin hissed as we stepped out onto the street.

“Ohhhh, I think it does,” I taunted, even though to be totally honest, I wasn’t really sure myself.

“Well, tonight will tell,” Kevin said.

A few hours later, I was standing outside my apartment building, waiting for Morrison. He had texted me that he was close, and to come downstairs.

My street is pretty empty, so when I saw a cab idle to a stop in front of my building, I knew it was him. I stepped to the curb, and opened the door.

“Hi,” I said.

Morrison’s eyes flicked up and down my body, and I felt a warmth spread through my limbs. He was checking me out—this guy was totally straight. I was just about to climb into the cab when he stopped me.

“Wait,” he said. “Is that what you’re wearing?”

I glanced down at my outfit. I was wearing a leather (fine, pleather) skirt and a black t-shirt. “Why?”

“It’s just that….” Morrison brought his fingers to his mouth and furrowed his brow,”it’s just not really a dress kind of party.”

“It’s a skirt,” I said.

Morrison narrowed his eyes at the offending garment. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. You looked so great in what you were wearing earlier.”

“I can go up and change into jeans?” I suggested.

“If you want,” Morrison said, like the whole thing was my idea. “They would look great with the tee you have on and like a long pendant necklace.”

I turned and trudged back to my apartment, tail between my legs. No straight guy tells you your outfit is bad and then gives you extremely detailed instructions on how to fix it. Also, straight guys don’t say tee. Tee! That’s fashion blog speak. Now I owed Kevin a hundred dollars and I really needed to put that towards a bikini and eyebrow wax. I had let myself get a little wild since I wasn’t getting any at the moment.

I changed into skinny jeans and booties, realized I had no idea WTF a ‘pendant’ necklace was and if I owned one, so I googled it. Turns out I do, a tarnished one from Urban Outfitters, so I looped that over my head.

When I attempted to climb into the cab this time, Morrison didn’t try to stop me. “You look hot now,” he said. “Very model off duty.” I mean if I had a dollar for every time someone said I looked like a model, I’d have, let’s see…ZERO DOLLARS. He was clearly overcompensating and trying to make me feel good because he’d insulted me earlier. Nina was at Brad’s apartment right now, drinking beer and playing Apples to Apples, and I was so wishing I was on my way there instead of where I was going.

We arrived at the party and there were gorgeous hipster-y girls in black skinny jeans, black tees, and long pendant necklaces as far as the eye could see. Was this like the cool girl uniform and I’d missed the memo?

“There’s your friend.” Morrison nodded across the room, and I spotted Kevin. “I’m going to get a drink, you want anything?”

I asked for a vodka soda and made my way over to Kevin. I passed a crowd of people bent over a hot pink coffee table, blatantly doing coke.

“I’m not cool enough to be here,” I said to Kevin.

Kevin brushed his shoulder off. “Speak for yourself.”

“Anyway,” I said. “Pretty sure you won.”

“Yes,” Kevin pumped his fist int he air. “Did he say it was love at first sight with me? He did, didn’t he?”

“Calm down,” I said.

Kevin poked me in the ribs. “Don’t be a sore loser. I won’t really make you pay me. I’m not that mean.”

I stayed for a few drinks, but by eleven, I was ready to go. “I’m going to stop by Nina’s boyfriend’s place,” I said to Kevin. “He’s having a few people over. Want to come?”

Kevin wanted to stay, so I gave him a hug goodbye and went to find Morrison. I hadn’t seen much of him since we’d gotten there. I tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey,” I said. “I’m going to take off.”

Morrison pouted. “We hardly got to hang out.”

“It’s okay!” I said. “Thank you for inviting me. It was fun.”

“What’s your schedule like this week?” Morrison asked. “We should grab a drink or something.”

“I usually work pretty late,” I said. “But maybe Wednesday?”

“Wednesday works.” Morrison gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Bye, gorgeous.”

Well, he wasn’t interested in purchasing my goods, but I could always use a friend with a keen eye for fashion who could also probably recommend some good hair products. His hair was really shiny.

I sent Nina a text letting her know I was on my way over to Brad’s, and hopped on the subway. I didn’t bother to check my phone again, and I really wish I had, because Nina had texted me, ‘Cool. Just a heads up Ashley is here.’ I still would have gone, but I just would have been more mentally prepared to see her.

Ashley had turned it out in a backless tank top and jeans that looked like they had been painted on. She was sitting on some guy’s lap when I walked in. We politely nodded to each other and Ashley went back to her canoodling.

“Who’s that guy?” I whispered to Nina.

“Kenny,” Nina said. “One of Brad’s friends.”

“Do you like him?”

Nina shrugged. “He seems nice. But I think he gets around a lot.”

“Well, whatever,” I said. “Maybe a good boinking is what she needs to get over Tom.”

I had just cracked open a beer when someone pounded on the door so hard I spilled some of it down my shirt.

“What the fuck?” Brad grumbled, pulling himself off the couch and making his way over to the door. Whoever was on the other side was still pounding.

Brad pulled the door open. “What?”

It was Tom. And his face and bald head were both purple. I was so shocked I didn’t even stop to wonder how he knew where Brad lived.

“Tom!” Ashley said. She jumped off of Kenny’s lap. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“You wouldn’t pick up your phone,” he seethed. “And now I see why.” He charged at Kenny. Thankfully, Brad stepped in and stopped him.

“Dude,” Brad said. “I’m sorry, but you need to go.”

“Get the fuck off of me!” Tom shrieked. He shoved Brad off of him so hard Brad crashed into the wall, knocking that same print off its hook that Nina had months ago.

Brad regained his balance. His hands were shaking as he said, “If you don’t get out of here right now I’m calling the cops.”

“Ashley,” Tom said, ignoring Brad, “if you don’t come with me I swear to God it’s really over. I have never been so serious in my entire life.”

I thought it already was over. I glanced at Nina, but she looked just as confused as I did. Ashley had tucked herself into a corner as far away from Tom as possible, and now she took a step towards him.

“Ashley, don’t,” I said.

Tom spun around and pointed his finger at me. “Stay out of this, bitch.”

Nina gasped.

“That’s enough!” Brad said, louder this time. “Get out now or I’m calling the cops.”

Tom stared me down for one more second before making his exit. He never took his eyes off of me. It was like he was marking me or something, and a shiver went down my spine.

When he was finally gone, Kenny was the first to speak. “Who the fuck was that?”

“Are you okay?” Nina asked me.

“Not really,” I said, shakily. “I’ve seen too many Lifetime movies to know what happens to the friend who meddles.”

“Relax,” Nina said. “This is not a Lifetime movie. But I do kind of think you should spend the night here tonight.” She nodded at Ashley, who was now sitting on the sofa looking at her hands. “That one too.” Nina leaned in close and dropped her voice. “She mentioned she thought he was following her. He could be waiting outside, who knows.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “This is just like a Lifetime movie.”

The party thinned out after that, and Nina went through the apartment, finding extra pillows and blankets for Ashley and me.  Ashley and I didn’t speak much beyond figuring out who got what spot on the couch. Brad has one of those L-shaped couches, and I volunteered to take the smaller arm since Ashley is a few inches taller than me.

Everyone went to bed. Curled up on the couch with Ashley’s feet by my head, I couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Ash, is he really following you?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Ashley sighed. “I thought I was just being paranoid. But I don’t know how else he would have found me tonight.”

“But I thought he…I mean I thought you said he broke up with you. Why would he be following you?”

“He did,” Ashley said. “But now he wants to get back together. Says he forgave me.” Ashley laughed, bitterly. “Right. Like I’m the one who needs to be forgiven.”

I was surprised. Of course I agreed with her, but it was the first time I hadn’t heard Ashley make an excuse for him. Maybe some time apart from him had given her some clarity.

“I’m really embarrassed,” Ashley said, and I heard her sniffle.

“Ash,” I said. “Why are you embarrassed?”

“Because he is such a jackass and it was so obvious but I was too stubborn to listen to you guys.”

“Hey,” I said. “It’s hard to see the truth sometimes, especially when it’s right in front of you. How many times did Justin tell me he did not want to be in a relationship, and I just didn’t want to believe him? I looked like such a desperado. That’s embarrassing.”

“I guess,” Ashley said.

We were quiet for a really long time. I thought Ashley had gone to sleep, and I was drifting off too when she said, “I’m going to therapy.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah. I need to figure out why I’m attracted to these losers who treat me like shit. Luke, now Tom.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” I said. “A professional is going to see things in you that you don’t see, that your friends can’t even see. It’s like we’re too close, you know?”

Ashley didn’t say anything for a moment. “I didn’t mean to come down on you so hard. I know you were just trying your best. It’s not like there is a right way to handle a situation like this.”

“I just worry that you think life has to be hard,” I said. I’d never brought up Ashley’s parents before, but I felt like we were being totally transparent, and it was now or never. “I feel like that’s the lesson your Mom has imparted on you, and it’s just not true. Everything doesn’t have to be a struggle. And if something is, maybe it’s not worth it.”

“My Mom is a miserable bitch and I don’t want to be anything like her,” Ashley said. I’d never heard Ashley speak about her Mom like that. “I will do anything not to become like her.”

Ashley turned over and pulled the covers over her head. After a while, her breathing deepened, and I knew she’d fallen asleep.

Frank called me into his office first thing on Monday morning, which was unusual because Frank made it very clear he does not like to be disturbed on Mondays.

“Do you have any personal conflicts next week?” Frank asked. “Family events? Doctor’s appointment?”

“Um, nothing,” I said. “Why?”

“I’ve been asked to go to LA to meet up with some potential clients,” Frank said. “I’d like you to come with me. What do you think?”

I thought it sounded awesome. Ian did too. I emailed him the second I got back to my desk.

 

 

Note: I dont own this story. Read it from Jessica Knoll’s blog years back and I thought I should share it with you guys. Enjoy!

Happy Ending

Unfortunately, love doesn’t always give you the happy ending you want in the end. Sometimes you can be madly in love with someone and still know in your heart that, that person can never give you the kind of love and effort that you know you deserve. 
One of the hardest things to accept in life is knowing that sometimes you were only meant to make the other person better for the next person. When some people don’t appreciate having a good person in their corner, sometimes that ended relationship is like a wake up call for them to get their act together for the next person. It doesn’t mean that something was necessarily wrong with you, it just means that they really didn’t have the tools to help maintain a healthy happy relationship with you like you wanted. 

Sometimes that is the only reason why you cross paths with certain people. You were never meant to be together, you were just meant to make them better for the next person. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow but at least room was made in your life so the next person could love you like you deserve to be loved.

By Frank Paul
Have a Nice weekend Ya’ll. 

Things To Do Before Marriage

Give yourself the mental, physical and emotional foundation you need before taking the plunge. This will give your marriage unshakable strength.

There are some things that all women should address before getting married. This will ensure that you have your head on straight and are equipped with the tools you need to have a positive long-term relationship.

We have the potential to create consistent and loving relationships if we know ourselves and work on ourselves; without that, it’s easy for the challenges that life throws you to knock you out of your comfort zone and shake up your marriage. Having these habits and emotional coping skills will help you through the challenges you might face.

1. Work on your self-esteem

Girl smells sunflower in nature

Since we are talking about love, we first really need to look at how much we are looking to our partners to make ourselves feel good. This can be dangerous because they then have control over how you view yourself. This can lead to codependency and jealousy.

What we need is to really know who we are, what we feel our purpose is and to be proud of it. When we are overly obsessed with our looks and rely on that for the basis of our relationships, we will constantly worry about aging and losing our sex appeal. However, when we know that we are a good person and we know that’s what our man loves about us, aging won’t be scary and we will feel more secure.

2. Develop a healthy relationship with your body

If you are constantly obsessing over how you look, calling yourself fat or looking at photos and wishing you looked like someone else, you’re not ready to take the plunge. We have been programmed by marketing companies to be insecure and think that men like skinny girls.

Men love confident healthy women who are comfortable in their own skin, not women who are trying to be something they’re not. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, that you love your body, and if there’s one thing, you’re self-conscious about, tell yourself that you love that part about yourself, too.

3. Have strong friendships

Before you enter a marriage, you need to have women who you can discuss anything with—and I mean anything. You also want to be there for them. Women need a support group of grounded and mature females to share their feelings with. We can’t look to men to be our only support, and we really do need to spend time with other people, too. When you hear about the internal struggles in their relationships and how they deal with things, it will help you understand your own.

Plus, we need to stay involved in our friends lives so that we don’t live on an isolated island and lose touch with society. Remember those couples who start dating and suddenly you never see them again? Don’t be like that; be there for your friends and make time for them.

4. Address your addictions or obsessive behaviors

Beautiful young woman in white dress flowers walking in the shop

This is what no one wants to talk about, but it’s very important. Are you spending too much money? Are you drinking too much on the weekend? Do you need to curtail your obsession with changing your hair color?

If you feel out of control of your behavior in anyway, it’s not yet time to get married. Luckily, with the help of counsellors we can address these issues and overcome them.

If you want a long-lasting marriage, look at any substance abuse you might be dealing with and take the time you need to heal that. You will feel so much better walking down the aisle if your mind and body are healthy, and it’s only fair to your man.

5. Work on peaceful communication

If, as a couple, you are having fights where you say mean things to each other, you’re not ready to get married. Marriage is about loving each other, supporting each other and offering consistent patient communication. Iron this stuff out before you get married. You can take a peaceful communication class and really make it a focus to communicate in a calm and loving way.

Once you have that in check, you will want him to treat you with respect even when you’re stressed. You both need to be able to do this consistently before you walk down the aisle. This will allow for mature conversations instead of childish blowouts. Often, our insecurities are triggered with our partners but based on an experience we had growing up. It’s important to learn how to own your own stuff and not project it onto your partner.

6. Learn how to budget

Don’t get into a marriage if you’re still wild with your money. You want to know what your bills are, when they are due and how much money you have coming in.

You need to have a handle on how much you’re spending on food and other things so that you won’t be stressed about finances in your relationship. Why not deal with this now so there’s one less thing that could be draining or cause disagreements in your marriage?

7. Have a stable career and life goals

Focused businesswoman working at desk in creative office

This is also extremely important. You need to have momentum in your life so that you don’t lose your identity. You want to have goals that you active pursue and are excited about. Let’s be real: this is something many women need to work on.

You can work with a life coach to help you figure this out before you get married. Remember, this is a new era, we can be leaders in our communities and mothers. Don’t just throw your goals out the window because you’re getting married; you need to keep your passion going.

8. Feel like you can stand on your own

This is a hard one to know for sure, but let’s say that you need to know that you would still be happy without your man. You would need to feel satisfied with the life you’re living and be able to support yourself. This ensures that you don’t have power struggles or feel less important than your partner.

If you were miserable before your relationship and looking for a relationship to save you, you’re not ready. If you don’t feel happy on a daily basis, you’re also not ready.

If you think that getting married is going to make the problems go away, slow down: you need to work on the problems and get to the root of the negative patterns before you tie the knot. This is also to protect you. It’s a big decision, and you want to make sure your man has communication skills, emotional coping skills and a strong sense of self as well.

9. Have techniques to keep your mind positive

Do you have a way to stay positive? Maybe learn meditation or work with setting an intention in the morning. Being able to keep a positive frame of mind will help you to get through the sad and stressful situations that will happen.

Imagine having kids together and the things that will be out of your control. You will need these tools in order to keep things positive and optimistic. There are good books and videos about this. Start now, and you’ll realize how fun life can really be.

10. Trust yourself

If you don’t trust yourself, you’re not ready for a relationship. If you find yourself thinking about being with other people and wondering if you would be happier with them, you’re not ready for marriage. You need to be all in and be able to be yourself. If you worry that you will hurt your partner, you need to work on why you’re not able to fully commit.

You also will not be able to trust someone else until you trust yourself. This means that you need to have complete transparency with him—no white lies. Don’t lie to him about where you’re going, what you buy or anything. It’s a bad habit that can cause a lot of problems.

Hopefully you found this helpful and will share it with your friends as it’s the advice any woman should have before getting married. We want to hear that your marriages last and are very happy!

Life Lesson

Found it on Facebook and I thought I should share it with you guys . Have a nice weekend y’all.

❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇

You are about to buy a house? Shut up. 🙊
You are about to buy a car? Shut up. 🙊
You ‘re going to marry ? Shut up. 🙊
You are going to travel? Shut up. 🙊
You’ll take courses or university? Shut up. 🙊
99 % of the time that our dreams are not realized because of our tongue, we were wrong in sharing our projects with people claiming to be “friends ” … Shut up and let ” God ” acts and everything will happen at the right time and at the right time !
And you never forget …
Most of your “friends ” wants you to look good but never better than them.

 

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Self Love

We should take care of ourselves the way we would take care of our best friend. Self-care involves three main things, and you have to take care of your entire self to live your best life.

The term ‘self-care’ has been floating around the internet for quite some time, but maybe you’re not entirely sure as to what it actually is. Luckily, it’s fairly straightforward.

After all, the name is self-explanatory. It’s all about taking care of yourself, which includes making time to do things that make you happy. However, self-care is more than just that.

Life-changing self-care

beautiful woman on the beach

Self-care is not just about taking care of yourself when it is easy; it’s about taking care of yourself when it’s hard to. Sometimes, self-care can be getting together for a girls’ night with your favorite dessert, while other times, it is more about ensuring you put your needs first and take care of yourself.

It is understandable that some people feel that self-care is selfish. People, especially women, are bombarded with the idea that you need to take care of others first, but that’s not always true, and self-care definitely isn’t selfish.

The truth is, self-care can boost your confidence and help you to recognize your self-worth; it’s something that the majority of people don’t even realize they need. Self-care is not selfish; it is a way to keep yourself healthy, happy and balanced. The simplest acts of self-care can transform your life.

Self-care and depression

For people who suffer from depression or anxiety, self-care is even more important. Some days, it’s hard just to get out of bed or to even take proper care of yourself in the simplest ways. However, having a self-care ritual to fall back on during the bad days can help you in many ways.

If you make self-care a habit, it will be easier to take care of yourself on the bad days. Self-care comes in different forms and largely depends on the person and situation. What works for one person may not work for another.

Self-care umbrella

There are three main categories under the self-care umbrella: physical, mental/emotional and spiritual. To take care of yourself fully, you need to be aware that you need to take care of each and every aspect of yourself.

Taking care of one area doesn’t help as much as it can if you take care of your entire self. The good thing, though, is that no matter what, one small change in one aspect of your life can and will inspire change in the others.

Physical self-care

Physical self-care is about taking care of your body—getting exercise, eating healthy meals, going for walks and getting up and out in nature. Develop a routine for the simpler aspects of life; though they may be simple, they are important. Making the smallest change in your morning routine can change your entire day.

Mental and emotional health

beautiful woman

To take care of your mental and emotional self three things are needed. You need to be able to challenge your mind, unleash your creativity, and most importantly you need to acknowledge your emotional self.

Challenge your mind!

Challenging your mind can come about in different ways. Taking classes at your local college or rec center is a great way to learn and challenge your mind.

Invest in hobbies—learn to paint or draw, travel or learn a new language when you can or spend some time doing a puzzle or crossword in your spare time as opposed to just watching TV.

My personal favorite is reading. It is one of the best ways to learn, grow and challenge your mind. Reading enables you to open up your mind as well as expand your knowledge base.

Creativity

photo

Hobbies such as painting, writing, singing, dancing, playing an instrument, photography, art or journaling are all ways you can get in touch with your creative side.

What it comes down to is what you feel more drawn to, writing or painting? If you like working with your hands you might enjoy pottery classes or beading.

Tune into your emotional self

To some, this may sound wishy-washy, but doing this is really important. It’s all about staying true to yourself, your emotions and your beliefs. It means allowing yourself to feel.

One great way to do this is to start journaling. It can not only help you to get in touch with your creativity but it can help you get in touch with your emotional self.

Spiritual care

This is one thing that will not only be very different for everyone, but is also a deeply personal matter for each person. For some people, taking care of their spiritual self will always be about going to a place of worship, such as a church. It can be about prayer or meditation.

The important thing to remember is to do what feels right: no way is wrong, and your spiritual calling is going to be different from another’s. Some people may feel that being out in nature is more spiritual for them, while others may feel that church is the answer. Each path is different, but all lead to the same place.

Connected

beautiful woman

The great thing about self-care is that many aspects of it overlap within the three main components of it. Journaling, for example, lets you be creative, but it’s also an active way to acknowledge your emotional self.

Walking in a forest can soothe physical, mental/emotional and spiritual needs. The trick is to realize that we are not solely creatures of a physical nature; we also have emotional and spiritual needs, and you need to take care of your entire self in order to live your best life.

Once again, self-care is not selfish. Recognizing that you need to take care of yourself is a sign of maturity. Loving yourself is what we all need to learn. Every day, we are bombarded with constant messages pertaining to the same idea—that we are not enough—so recognizing that you are is the greatest thing you will ever do.

Tell us what some of your favorite ways to take care of yourself below! Is it a bubble bath? A girls’ night out with your best friends? Maybe it’s your favorite dessert?

Do you always want to be in a relationship?

Wel all know someone who always needs to be in a relationship. If you are a girl that suffers from love addiction, you have to know that you don’t need a relationship to validate yourself.

I find it so sad when I see a woman who can’t bare to be by herself, is always seeking attention from others and needs to be in a relationship. Women who feel as though they are nothing without a relationship need to realize that they are so much more than the relationships they are in or have been in, and are much more than they attention they seek.

Read on to see why it is okay to be by yourself.

1. Being alone does not mean being lonely

girl enjoying time alone

Let me get one thing straight: this article is not trying to bash anyone who loves being in relationships or who has been in quite a few relationships. This one is a message for the women who feels as though they are nothing without one and who suffers from so called love addiction.

Even if you are single, that does not mean you have to be lonely. You should learn to become your own best friend. Love yourself and spend time with yourself.

Spend time with your friends and, if you are the type to ditch all of your friends for a significant other, then try harder to maintain friendships. Spend more time with your family as well.

Just know that even if you are alone, that does not automatically mean you are lonely.

Learning to be alone with yourself is extremely important. At the end of the day, who do you have? Yourself. It is never guaranteed that you have someone else. You have to learn to be okay with that.

You do not always need someone to give you attention and affection. Learn to give that to yourself.

2. You are more than a relationship

Beautiful caucasian sexy brunette young woman lie on the bed in bedroom

I know some women who truly believe that they are nothing if they are not in a relationship or even just “talking” to someone. Yes, a relationship can add a lot of positivity to your life and make it more special, but how could someone feel as though their life is so empty without one? There is more to life than that.

Don’t fill up your life with attention from the wrong people just to feel validated. That will just make you feel so much worse in the long run and shatter your self-confidence.

Someone right will come along, but, in the meantime, you need to learn that even if you are not in a relationship or with someone, it is okay. It is more than okay; in fact, it can be wonderful.

Take the time to learn about what you really want and gain independence. Feeling like you have to be dependent on someone else can make you feel even lonelier in the long run as well. You can shine all on your own; you are so much more than any relationship.

3. Changing your ways will gain you respect

girl sleeping alone

In all honesty, people will know if you are desperate for attention and a relationship, and it can really attract the wrong kids of people. There is a reason why you maybe have gone through a lot of people.

The kinds of people you attract are the people that will just give you that short-term attention and then drop you like nothing. Or, they know that they can mistreat you because they know that, no matter what, you will stick around.

Don’t be that girl—the one who stays with someone just because they don’t want to be lonely. If you respect yourself, love yourself and do not allow yourself to be mistreated; it will attract someone that will not do you wrong.

If you show that you do not need someone, it will make someone else work even harder to be with you. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is confident within herself.

What you start to work on the inside is what you will attract from other people. Know your worth, and then someone who is worthy of you will come along.

If I have to end with one thing, it would be that it really does break my heart to see women who suffer from love addiction and who feel as though they are nothing without attention.

I just want to hug them and tell them that they are so much more, and I wish they could see that. Let this article be that hug and message from me. I know you are worth more than you may think you are.

Do you have any other pieces of advice for someone that feels as though they are not validated unless they are in a relationship? Comment below!